Don't Keep Yourself A Secret
by Funky In Fishnet
Summary: Jason Jordan keeps receiving gifts, which he knows are from Chad Gable. But Chad won't confirm it and Jason starts to think it doesn't mean anything but pity. They're both idiots, both hurt, until they're not.
_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing._

 _ **Author Note:** Title is an adaptation of lyrics from the song 'Keep Me A Secret' by Ainslie Henderson._

* * *

 **DON'T KEEP YOURSELF A SECRET**

"Oh, come on. Firecrackers would be amazing. We're _American_ Alpha, right?"

"Right but it's not even close to July so..."

Jason's words faltered as he stared down at his bag. Chad had done it again; there was a shiny red apple sitting right on top of it. Chad was unlacing his boots, humming as he did with this little smile like Jason couldn't see it. Chad's hands were moving quickly and skilfully and that was not the focus right now.

Jason briefly considered throwing the apple at Chad. Instead, he brandished it right in front of Chad's nose.

"Really, Gable?"

Chad looked up at him with wide innocent eyes, though the uncontrollably pleased grin he was wearing was more than a giveaway. Jason did not find it endearing, at all.

"Looks like someone's thinking of you," Gable said, apparently casual. "That's a really nice apple, dude. Look at the shine."

Jason closed his eyes briefly. Chad had probably polished the apple. Jason did not let himself smile, nope. It _was_ a nice-looking apple and Jason wasn't going to waste it. But still, this was the third 'secret admirer' gift he'd gotten in the last two weeks and Chad was stubbornly refusing to admit he was behind it all.

Jason bit into the apple and tried not to feel too good at the sight of Chad's grin increasing as he finally tugged off his boots.

* * *

It wasn't like Chad was stealth about it. There were protein bars left with Jason's towel whenever he worked out, drinks anonymously paid for at two different bars, and Jason's favourite not-healthy snacks somehow appearing in the apartment block vending machine. Jason didn't know how Chad worked that one but he knew it was Chad, it had to be. He was gonna find out how Chad did that.

There were never any greetings cards or notes, like Chad's handwriting would be the clue that gave him away.

Jason ate the food and drank the drinks. Chad knew what he liked. Maybe Jason smiled when he got the protein bars in the blue wrappers and saw that the machine had the cupcakes he'd loved as a cheat food since college. Maybe he enjoyed how happy and pleased Chad looked whenever he saw Jason consuming the gifts.

But Chad still never said outright it was him. Like this was a game? That wasn't ever Chad's thing. He was up front about everything, sometimes incoherantly, always genuinely, like he never realised he should conceal anything or how to do it. He had been since first asking Jason to take him on as a tag team partner. But this, this he wouldn't admit to?

Jason's smile dimmed and he didn't finish one of the protein bars.

* * *

The more he thought about it, the worse Jason felt. Chad was keeping a secret from him, even though Jason had pointedly commented that he knew. So why wouldn't Chad just say it was him? Was this just something Chad was doing to be nice, to do something good for his tag team partner? Was that it? Like Jason needed that, like pity? Jason started getting a tangled-tight feeling that he really didn't like.

Bayley started hugging him even more than she usually did. She looked worried and her hugs were good, almost as good as Chad's. She didn't ask what was wrong; she just hugged him and patted him on the back, like she knew he needed it but that he wasn't going to talk about it. It was really unnerving and made Jason feel tangled-tighter.

Enzo and Cass of all people offered to take Jason out for a drink and party one night. Wow, he looked that bad, huh?

Chad took to looking at him worriedly too. "You sure you're eating right, man? And you're, like, doing those stretches we talked about too?"

Chad talked a lot about how to make the best better – the best being American Alpha. His ideas were crazy most of the time; Jason was always telling him that. But he still listened, maybe because sometimes Chad had good ideas and because he was used to Chad's voice now and the car rides and company would feel weird without it. Maybe because he liked listening to Chad.

"I'm fine," Jason told him firmly.

They were still amazing in the ring. But was it Jason's imagination or was there an extra...something missing now? He didn't know what; there was just something gone, you know? If Chad noticed, he wasn't saying. The gifts kept turning up and Chad still didn't say anything about his part in delivering them. And Jason still didn't know how his favourite snacks kept turning up in the vending machine.

It was all completely frustrating.

"I think I'm going to call it a night," Jason said one evening, when Chad talked about getting dinner together like they usually did.

Chad looked hurt and that made the tangled-tight feeling in Jason pull even harder. But it was too much, you know? Being around Chad and knowing Chad was practically gifting him out of pity and Jason wanted to...whatever, so Jason liked looking at Chad and he wanted to reach out and it hurt because for all Chad's honesty, this secret admirer crap was staying a secret.

It made the tangled-tight feeling even worse. It made Jason not want to look at Chad, which said a lot. Because usually, he always wanted to look at Chad.

* * *

Car rides became pretty silent now and Chad gnawed at his thumb when he thought Jason wasn't looking.

It was messing with both their heads. Jason could see how much Chad was faltering now when they talked and the rate of gifts was starting to slow but not completely stop, like Chad couldn't bring himself to. Mr Regal was starting to look at them strangely and Jason just knew that a call to Mr Regal's office couldn't be far away.

Jason was better than this. He was the best in the ring and Chad was too and even when Jason hadn't really wanted to team with Chad, they'd been awesome together out there. He couldn't lose that as well.

Then one day, when they were sat together planning how they were going to win their match that night, Chad broke off into silence. He'd been less enthusiastic than he usually was anyway and that was just wrong. Not that Jason knew how to make any of this right again. He just knew he wanted Chad to smile and cant into Jason's personal space and for them to dominate every other team out there.

He knew what he wanted.

"What happened, man?" Chad said, his eyes looking pained and sad.

Chad was seriously asking him that question. Jason plucked a leftover protein bar from his pocket stash.

"We're a team, right?"

Chad's eyes lit up fiercely, "The best."

"Right, the best. And this whole 'secret admirer thing' isn't really a secret and you not admitting...it's a problem."

Jason's voice didn't break but there was something in his tone that seemed to surprise Chad. Chad looked at him and then hesitating, sort of carefully pressed a hand to Jason's knee. That was wrong too – Chad never used to hesitate about invading Jason's personal space.

"A secret admirer is _supposed_ to be secret," Chad stressed quietly, earnestly. "You get sick gifts and someone thinking awesome things about you, it doesn't matter who it's from."

"But it does."

The words burst out of Jason. That was the point, wasn't it? It mattered, who'd been thinking about him and leaving him a stream of appreciated gifts. It mattered because he'd liked that it was Chad and if Chad didn't want Jason to know it was him, it was just..empty. And Jason didn't want that.

Chad was looking at him, a bit of pain leaving his expression. That was already a lot better; something started to ease in Jason, especially when Chad began to smile.

"You...want it to be me?" he wanted to know, tentatively.

Okay, Chad sounding unsure, also wrong. Jason dropped a hand to where Chad's was still resting on his knee and felt how Chad's fingers tensed and then relaxed.

"I deserve the best," was all Jason said because how else could he put into words all the tangles he'd been feeling? All he _wanted_?

Chad's smile became a brilliant grin and the look in his eyes was so bright. He wrapped his fingers around Jason's and leaned into Jason's personal space, his mouth getting close but not quite there and what, he still wouldn't go that extra inch? Like, he was actually unsure?

Jason got a hand at the back of Chad's neck and tugged him that vital bit closer, their mouths finally meeting. Chad let out a little huff of surprise or excitement and then he sort of melted under Jason's lips and then revved up, his hands quickly starting to touch Jason's chest, waist, arms, like he couldn't stop. Yeah.

The kiss was good. Of course it was, they were an amazing team. Chad was gasping and moaning, he couldn't seem to help it, licking into Jason's mouth, greed slopping the edges of his skill. It was still good though and only getting better. Everything tangled tight inside of Jason seemed to be loosening completely and Chad felt so good even though he still wasn't close enough. If Jason hauled him up, Chad would be a really great fit in his lap.

But Chad was pulling out of the kiss now, his expression so adoring, there really wasn't any other word for it, as he panted. Yeah, Jason was breathing hard too, and neither of them were letting go.

"No more secrets," Jason stated.

"Not even good ones?"

Jason shook his head, "That wasn't good."

Chad hmmed and then seemed to realize the time because he unevenly launched back into their planning for the night's match. Yeah, time was sort of rolling on, wasn't it? They were still touching each other. They were the best and with this, Chad getting bright again and the tangles inside of and around Jason dropping away, they were going to be even more unstoppable. Yes. Jason grinned around his words and enjoyed how big Chad's grin back was.

"You're telling me how you get those cupcakes into the vending machine."

"Oh, that's not a secret, that's a gift."

"A gift you're gonna tell me about."

"Come on, you can totally guess. I mean, the gifts'll keep coming so."

"Then I guess I'm not sharing them."

"I've got a stash, dude. I'm sorry for your troubles."

 _-the end_


End file.
